Second Chances
by Iba
Summary: Will Artie be able to fill in the missing gap in Yacon's heart?


Yacon has been having a low self-esteem ever since he saw himself in the mirror, which was just now, which he hasn't done for years for the fear of this situation. He had stubby, pinata legs filled with fat and that flabby-as-jelly belly. He was a short fat fuck, and he wanted that to change. He was sure he could overcome this obstacle because he was rich.

A day later, Yacon was dressed up in a tank top, shorts, and an out of place cowboy hat, revealing his woolly body-but that has nothing to do with this plot-waiting for the person he called a day earlier. He was standing outside his house when suddenly the wall exploded and Renbu leaped out from inside, yelling, "OH, YEAH!" and suddenly chugging down a bottle of Gatorade.

"H-how in SAM HILL did you get in there?" Yacon sputtered.

"I'M A BIG MAN," Renbu declared, patting the discontent Yacon on the back, "YOU BECOME ONE, TOO." He started to playfully slap one of Yacon's man boobies around, who in turn told him to stop that.

Renbu was going to be Yacon's trainer, and it was time for business. One of the things Renbu made Yacon do was squats, but when Yacon attempted to do one as Renbu was yelling at him and pouring Gatorade on the cowboy, his shorts ripped, and a pair of underwear made out of jewels were revealed. Yacon started to cry as Renbu stared until he decided it was best to just walk away.

Next day Yacon was at his desk with his head in his hands until he heard the doorbell ring. He didn't expect anyone, but he especially didn't expect a gay clown to tumble on in and go, "TADA!"

It was Artie wearing really tight short, shorts and a tight zebra tank top matched with beautiful cowboy boots.

"Oh... oh no," Yacon muttered.

"Howdy, partner!" Artie said as he patted the shorter man on the back. "Renbu told me you were having some self-esteem problems! I'm here to fix that!"

Yacon stared at him like a frightened little boy. "What are you going to do to me?"

Soon enough Yacon was dressed into his proper work-out attire (with new shorts, of course), standing next to Artie outside. The wall was already fixed because Yacon was rich.

"Don't make me do squats, boy." Yacon crossed his arms.

"Oh, no, no!" Artie said. "We're going to be doing something better! Mr. Yacon, you won't regret my stay. Turn that frown upside down! In no time your body frame will be better than that of Miss Fuuro! You'll be rich AND a wild stallion! Trust me, you will be living in your prime."

Yacon thought Artie should shut up yet he was distracted at the fact that Artie was caressing his stomach fat this whole speech as he smiled like a retard.

"Now do what I do, Yacon!"

Before he knew it, this obnoxious, crappy beats started playing out of nowhere, and Artie started doing this weird, continuous jumping where he kept pumping his arm in the air and going, "YES! YES! YES! YES!" Artie turned his head at the cowboy who thought he went full retarded before attempting to do what Artie was doing and stopped.

"Yacon, you're probably one of those people who can't remember shit if you ain't got words, so, honey, I'm gonna give you some words to remember this by."

"Boggle?"

Artie placed his hand on his hip and made a pose, using his other hand to do these weird, increasingly-fast gestures. Yacon reluctantly tried to follow. "It goes WORK! BEAT! FIERCE! SOUND! WORK, BEAT, FIERCE, SOUND! WORKBEATFIERCESOUND!"

Yacon was trying to keep up, but his boobs kept hitting him in the face as it dripped sweat.

Artie was pleased at this progress, though. "Now, Yacon, let's do the fork in the GARBAGE DISPOSAL! Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!" He threw his arms up in the air and wiggled them around as he himself jumped around. "!"

Yacon did the exact movements as his belly flopped in all directions, and he already felt exhausted. His face was as red as menstrual blood on a girl's second day, but he was determined to look better than Fuuro. Artie at this point stopped moving and watched Yacon. He was at first impressed, but then he quickly realized that Yacon was going too far.

"All right, slow down, Yacon, that's enough."

He didn't stop.

"Slow down, girl."

He still didn't.

"You're going to yes too hard, girl!"

Yacon was a monster.

"SLOW DOWN, YACON! YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF! STOP, STOP!" Artie started screaming. "SOMEONE CALL THE FIREMEN. SHE IS ON FIRE!"

Yacon was out of breath and he felt the world spinning. He paid no heed to Artie's pleas, and he suddenly felt pain in his chest. He dropped to his knees, clutching his chest. With one last gasp, he fell to the ground, unconscious. Yacon just had a heart attack.

After this happened, Artie gripped his head in terror and sobbed out, "MY FRIEND JUST DIED FROM YESING TOO HARD!"

He buried his bawling face into his hands until he realized that the only way to bring him back was to yes him back. Artie composed himself and started dancing and going YES over and over until Mayor Shaga West launched an Iris out of his Iris launcher at Artie and screamed at him, "I'M TRYING TO WATCH STARTREK, YOU GAY CLOWN!"


End file.
